Thơ Chế Học Sinh Đúng Là Nhất Quỷ Nhì Ma Thứ 3 Học Trò

Cười Thả Phanh – Xin gửi tới anh em phần tổng hợp một số bài Thơ Chế Học Sinh. Cực hay và buồn cười. Chúc các bạn có những giây phút vui vẻ



EM THÍCH CÁCH CÔ NGHĨ

Cô giáo đố học sinh
Cái gì xám và cứng?
Học sinh trả lời đúng
Thưa cô là BÊ TÔNG
Cô giáo lại bổ sung
NHỰA ĐƯỜNG cũng chính xác
 
Cái gì màu vàng nhạt?
Ở trên cánh đồng quê
Thưa CON BÒ, CON BÊ!
Có màu vàng đấy ạ
Các em thật rất khá
Trả lời đúng không sai
Nhưng đáp án thứ hai
Là ĐỐNG RƠM cũng đúng.
 
Một bạn miệng ấp úng
Muốn được đố một câu
Cô giáo khẽ giật đầu
Cho học sinh đố thử
 
Trò rằng: Là một thứ
Trước khi ta ngậm vào
Cứng, thẳng và khô ráo
Tròn tròn trông đáng yêu
Ngậm vào nước ra nhiều
Lôi ra thì mền nhũn
 
Vừa nghe cô bủn rủn
Tát một cái thẳng tay
Trò rằng: cô nghĩ hay
LÀ CÁI GÌ ẤY NHỈ???
Nhưng mà theo em nghĩ
Nó lại là cây KEM
 
Còn đáp án nào thêm
Nhanh nhanh cho ý kiến
Trả lời cho Sao Biển
Cùng góp tiếng cười vui
Một tuần lại qua rồi

Chúc cả nhà vui vẻ!



NẾU MÀ KHÔNG ĐẬU ĐẠI HỌC

Thi mà không đậu thì thôi
Còn nhiều cơ hội ai ơi đừng buồn
Đại học đâu phải là ngon
Bao nhiêu khó nhọc luôn luôn cận kề
 
Không đậu ta lại trở về
Giúp cha phụ mẹ làm nghề ruộng nương
Không thì đắp lũy đào mương
Giúp các em nhỏ con đường mai sau
 
Cuộc sống vốn dĩ muôn màu
Mỗi người mỗi nghiệp hơi đâu mà buồn
Giàu thì đâu phải là khôn
Cơm no áo ấm quý hơn bội phần
 
Lương tháng gấp 4, 5 lần
Nhưng họ đâu hiểu sống cần niềm vui
Tiền nhiều cũng chỉ thế thui
Suốt ngày đố kỵ chẳng vui tẹo nào
 
Sinh viên cứ tuyển ào ào
Ra trường xin việc tiền vào mới xong
Cha mẹ vất vả lưng cong
Nuôi con ăn học chỉ mong thành nghề
 
Nhưng sau thất vọng tràn trề
4 năm đại học con về tay không
Uổng cho ngày tháng ngóng trông
4 mùa xuân hạ thu đông mỏi mòn
 
Trái đất thì vẫn quay tròn
Suy nghĩ cho kỹ vẫn còn thời gian
Việc nào cũng rất gian nan
Học mà không tốt thì làm chân tay
 
Kiếm người chung ý dựng xây
Mái nhà hạnh phúc bên cây lúa vàng
Uyên ương ý thiếp tình chàng
Yêu trong gian khổ lại càng đậm sâu
 
Cuộc sống chẳng có bao lâu
Khuyên luôn vui vẻ một câu chân tình
Bởi sống đâu chỉ cho mình
Gia đình xã hội cần mình trở che
 
Suy nghĩ và hãy lắng nghe
Cách làm kinh tế bạn bè xung quanh
Nhưng đừng theo thói giàu nhanh
Làm ăn phạm pháp sở khanh chợ đời
 
Tôi đây góp ý đôi lời
Chỉ mong đây đó mọi người lắng nghe..
tho-che-hoc-sinh


TÌNH BẠN THỜI SINH VIÊN

Không quan tâm mày ngủ say như sấm
Tao chỉ cần chăn ấm với đệm êm
Chơi với nhau còn giải thích gì thêm
Lúc đông sang ai chẳng quên không tắm
Con gái kia chúng còn hôi mùi mắm
Tao với mày khắm lắm cũng như nhau
 
Mày sinh ra nghiện phải điếu thuốc lào
Tao thuốc lá cũng ho lao vài trận
Khu ta sống toàn người dân chân thật
Tất không thay…10 ngón ắt sực mùi..!
Bao lần rùi mày cùng gấu chung vui
Hết chỗ chen tao phải chui vào giữa
Mày sở khanh tao đây thì cũng bựa
Miễn là sao không phải khựa được rồi..
 
Tuy không ưa những kẻ thích sỗ sàng
Rồi khoe khoang chuyện chàng nàng gai mắt
Nhưng anh em sống chung sao cũng mặc
Cười cái khì rồi nói : “sặc” cho xong..
 
Chuẩn men rồi hai đứa vốn đàn ông
Nhưng sinh ra ai mà không phải sợ
Không sợ ma cũng có thằng sợ vợ
Chung ga giường ai nỡ trách chi nhau
 
Đi chơi khuya việc trước có việc sau
Ai chẳng muốn về mau không kẻo muộn
Nhưng 2 ta cả 2 đều luộm thuộm
Nên cũng đành ai trách được chi ai…
“Ở chung nhau cũng bởi đến ngày mai
Đời sinh viên để tương lai rạng rỡ
Rồi mai đây cách chia người chồng vợ

Tháng năm dài xin nhớ chớ quên nhau.”



BÀI VĂN 2 ĐIỂM

Bài văn tả các vị Thần
Mà em đã biết, cô phần điểm hai
Hôm nay Băng kể ra đây
Để hỏi cho rõ bị sai cái gì
 
Thứ nhất là thần Cupi
Vị này tuy bé tí ti nhưng tài
Phi tiêu các cặp gái trai
Để cho họ được đời này bên nhau.
 
Thứ hai một kẻ rất ngầu
Là ông Thần Chết chuyên màu áo đen
Giết người chẳng kể sang hèn
Trên tay lưỡi hái, ngày đêm tung hoành.
 
Thứ ba, nhờ đọc truyện tranh
Biết Thần Vũ Trụ liên ngành tử sinh
Cả đời chỉ sống một mình
Chưa biết mùi gái tờ …rinh bao giờ.
 
Thứ tư, từ thuở bé thơ
Thần Đèn đã biết, liền vơ vào bài
Vị này quả thực rất tài
Ước gì được lấy nên ai cũng rình
 
Thứ năm là vị Thần Kinh
Vị này em đã thình lình được nghe
Sáng là dậy gáy le te
Mồm thì như cái loa dè phát ra
 
Đang đêm thì lại hát ca
Giữa trưa trời nắng lại ra cởi chuồng
Thần hay bị nhốt trong buồng
Không biết là giúp được phường xã chi.
 
Truyện tranh, kết hợp tivi
Bao nhiêu hiểu biết em thì viết ra
Thế mà cô giáo cho ba
Xong cô nghĩ lại, rồi là cho hai
 
Mà cô chẳng bảo đúng sai
Thế nên Băng Lạnh mãi hoài chưa thông
Hội ta đây thật là đông

Ai mà hiểu biết, tăng xông chỉ giùm.



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Thơ Chế Học Sinh Đúng Là Nhất Quỷ Nhì Ma Thứ 3 Học Trò
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