Tổng Hợp Truyện Cười Tình Yêu Ngắn Hay Nhất 2017

Cười Thả Phanh – Xin gửi tới anh em bạn đọc Tổng Hợp Truyện Cười Tình Yêu Ngắn Hay Nhất 2017. Rất mong nhận được sự ủng hộ to lớn



Vẫn còn may

Trên đường đi học về Y hỏi I:

– Y: Nghe đồn, hôm qua mày đến thăm nàng , bị chó nhà nàng cắn vào chân hả?

– I: Ừ nhưng vẫn còn may.

– Y: Cắn vào chân mà may.

– I: May chú sao, nếu nó cắn vào đôi giày thì…tiêu tao rồi , đôi giày tao mượn thằng T.

– Y: Hết nói nổi!



Mẹ của chị ruột cũng mất

Cô gái đến cơ quan với đôi mắt hoe đỏ. Đồng nghiệp hỏi tại sao cô lại khóc, cô thổn thức:

– Sáng nay, tôi mới nhận được một cú điện thoại của bố, báo mẹ tôi đã qua đời.

– Mọi người xúm vào an ủi và cô gái đã nguôi ngoai đi được một chút. Thế nhưng, sau khi trả lời một cú điện thoại khác, cô lại bắt đầu nức nở và thông báo: Hôm nay thật là một ngày khủng khiếp! Chị ruột tôi lại vừa mới gọi điện thoại báo rằng mẹ chị ấy cũng mất rồi!



Chuyện bí mật

Cậu bé Johnny hớn hở đón mẹ vừa đi vắng một tuần trở về. “Mẹ biết không? Hôm qua khi con đang chơi trong tủ quần áo ở phòng ngủ của bố mẹ, con thấy bố đi vào phòng cùng với người phụ nữ ở nhà bên. Họ cởi quần áo, leo lên giường, bố trèo lên người bà ta…”

Người mẹ vội vàng giơ tay lên ngăn cậu bé lại và nói: “Không cần kể thêm từ nào nữa. Hãy chờ đến khi bố về nhà và mẹ muốn con kể chính xác những gì con vừa nói với mẹ”.

Ông bố về nhà, bà vợ liền tuyên bố sẽ bỏ ông ta. “Nhưng tại sao?”, ông chồng ngạc nhiên hỏi.

“Kể đi Jonny. Hãy cho bố biết những gì con đã nói với mẹ”.

“Được rồi”, Jonny nói. “Con đang chơi trong tủ quần áo thì bố lên gác cùng người phụ nữ ở nhà bên. Hai người cởi quần áo, leo lên giường, bố trèo lên người bà ta và họ làm đúng những gì mẹ làm, với chú Bob, khi bố đi vắng hè vừa rồi”.



Ai quyết định?

– Bố vợ: Như vậy là con gái tôi đã thú nhận rằng muốn lấy anh làm chồng. Anh đã quyết định ngày tổ chức hôn lễ chưa?

– Chàng rể: Vấn đề đó con dành hoàn toàn cho nàng quyết định.

– Bố vợ: Thế hôn lễ theo nghi thức nhà thờ hay bình dân?

– Chàng rể: Điều đó mẹ nàng quyết định.

– Bố vợ: Thế các con sẽ sống bằng gì?

– Chàng rể: Điều đó phụ thuộc vào ngài, thưa ngài!…



Quà sinh nhật cho hàng xóm

Hai ông hàng xóm nói chuyện với nhau:

“Sinh nhật ông là ngày nào?”– Ông hỏi để làm gì?

-Để tôi mua tặng ông cái rèm cửa sổ, chiều nào tôi cũng thấy vợ chồng ông không quần áo rượt đuổi khắp nhà

-Thế sn ông là ngày nào

-Ông hỏi vậy là sao?

– Để tôi mua cho ông cái ống nhòm coi rõ đó là vợ tôi hay
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
vợ ông….



Bà Vợ Ở Nhà Ngoại Tình

Một anh lính nọ phải ra trận vào ngày hôm sau nên tối hôm đó, anh thủ thỉ cùng vợ: “Em à! Ngày mai anh đi rồi, gắng chiều anh một đêm nhé !!!”.

Khi làm “chuyện lớn” xong, anh thầm nghĩ mình đi ra trận không biết bao lâu mới về mà vợ lại xinh đẹp, trẻ trung nên đâm ra lo lắng. Anh bèn vẽ một người lính đứng vác súng trên đùi vợ cho yên tâm.

Anh đi chẳng bao lâu thì người vợ trẻ không chịu được cảnh buồn tẻ vì thiếu chồng nên rước tình nhân về nhà. Anh tình nhân làm xong chuyện lớn, xóa đi người lính canh súng và vẽ lại một người lính khác cũng đứng vác súng.

Ngày anh chồng trở về, hí ha hí hửng gặp lại vợ mình. Tối đó, anh xem lại rồi quay sang hỏi vợ: “Em à! Người lính lúc trước anh vẽ đứng vác súng tay phải mà, sao bây giờ vác bên tay trái?”

Cô vợ lúng túng trả lời: “Thì vác tay phải mỏi quá, phải đổi sang tay trái chứ sao! Cái đó gọi là đổi gác, anh ạ”. 



Tặng hoa

Hai người bạn hỏi thăm nhau:

– Tối qua, cậu đến nhà nàng chơi vui vẻ chứ?

– Ừ, tớ đứng dưới cửa sổ nhà nàng hát tình ca và cô ấy ném xuống cho tớ một cành hoa…

– Lãng mạn quá, thế còn đầu cậu bị sao thế?

– À… vì cô ấy đãng trí không… rút cành hoa ra khỏi bình!



Để có được tác hại

Trên diễn đàn, giáo sư đọc bài diễn văn về tác hại của rượu:

– Các anh nên nhớ, rượu là nguyên nhân dẫn đến sự chia ly của biết bao cặp vợ chồng…

– Một thanh niên đứng lên hỏi: Xin lỗi giáo sư. Xin giáo sư cho biết, vậy cần phải uống bao nhiêu để có thể có được sự chia ly này ạ?



Trắng và đen

Tân sang chơi nhà Tài

– Tân hỏi: Này Tài ơi! Sao chị của cậu trắng thế?

– Tài nói: À! thế mà cũng không biết. Tại chị ấy ít ra khỏi nhà nên mới trắng như thế.

– Tân nói: Không dám đâu! Thế sao con “heo mọi” nhà cậu đấy, nó ở trong nhà suốt ngày mà sao nó đen thui thế chứ?

– Tài: Ới trời!?



Đạp mái mười lần..

Hai vợ chồng trẻ nọ đi tham quan một trang trại, người chủ trại giới thiệu một con gà trống rất đẹp mã và nói:

– “Từ sáng giờ nó đã đạp mái 10 lần rồi đó!”.

Người vợ quay sang chồng, hỏi giọng miệt thị:

– Nghe thấy không? anh phải học hỏi con gà đó

Anh này liền kéo vợ lại chỗ ông chủ trại gà và hỏi:

– Nó làm được việc ấy với một hay 10 con mái?

– Dĩ nhiên là 10 con mái rồi!

Người chồng quay sang vợ nói:

– Nghe thấy không? Có muốn tôi thử không?..

– Sealed



Cũng may

– Thính: Ê , Trâm, em bạn vừa té trên cây ổi đấy!

– Trâm (cuống quýt): Thế cây ổi ở cạnh vườn hoa hay ở mảnh đất trống ?

– Thính: Thì cây ổi ở mảnh đất trống

– Trâm (thở phào): Thế thì may quá , nó ko làm gãy cây hoa hồng của tớ!

– Thính:(ngất ngay lập tức)



Cái quý nhất

Mẹ nói với con gái:

– Mẹ không vừa lòng cho con lấy nó chút nào

– Nhưng thưa mẹ, con đã trót trao cái quý giá nhất đời mình cho anh ấy rồi….

– Sau khi ngắm con một lúc, bà mẹ thốt lên: Ồ…! Con làm mẹ hết hồn! Mẹ cứ tưởng cái dây chuyền 1 cây mẹ cho con đi tong mất. Hóa ra, con vẫn còn đeo trên cổ!



Khoảnh khắc huy hoàng

Cuối tháng, chồng đi làm về, mặt vênh váo, hùng hổ gọi vợ ra quát nạt.

– Bây giờ tôi hỏi cô: Cái nhà này ai làm chủ?

Cô vợ tát nhẹ vào má chồng, nựng yêu:

– Thôi đi nỡm… Tháng này có lương rồi hả!



Tóc vàng hoe

Tóc vàng hoe thất tình và quyết định tự tử, nhưng không biết tim mình ở chỗ nào. Cô ta bèn gọi điện cho bác sĩ để hỏi. Bác sĩ (vốn là nam) trả lời một cách tế nhị:

– Tim nằm ở dưới cái phần nhô ra bên trái người cô ấy!10 phút sau, tiếng còi xe cấp cứu vang lên để đưaTóc vàng hoe vào bệnh viện vì một vết thương do súng bắn vào đầu gối trái.



Tương tự nhau

Trong giờ học về hôn nhân, giáo sư hỏi sinh viên:

– Anh có hiểu tại sao người ta nói hôn nhân giống như giông bão không?

– Thưa giáo sư, bởi vì cả hai đều bắt đầu bằng sự cuốn hút, giằng co, tàn phá dữ dội rồi nổ tung. Cho đến khi mọi sự yên lặng trở lại thì bạn mất luôn cả cái nhà đang ở.



Viettel : Chắp cánh một cuộc tình

Điện thoại rung…

+ Chào A iu!

– Chào E! (tin nhắn không gửi được)

+ Ơ… A đâu rồi

– A đây mà (tin nhắn không gửi được)

+ Này! Định bơ nhau đấy à?

– Ơ, A vẫn đag nt cho E mà (tin nhắn không gửi được)

+ Khinh nhau vừa thôi việc gì fải thế! Chia tay đi !!!

– Ơ, đm con điên, nghỉ mie mey` đi bực cả mình (TIN NHẮN GỬI THÀNH CÔNG)

>>> VIETTEL: Chắp cánh 1 cuộc tình



Trọn bộ

Hai anh bạn gặp nhau:

– Cuộc tình của cậu đã đến lúc chyển thành đám cưới chưa?

– Cô ấy đã chạy theo một thằng cha khác, từ hôn và trả nhẫn lại cho tớ. Bây giờ tớ đang đi tìm xem thằng ấy ở đâu.

– Để làm gì kia chứ? Cậu có đánh hay giết hắn thì cũng chẳng thay đổi được gì…

– Không, tớ chỉ muốn bán lại chiếc nhẫn!



Linh cảm mẹ chồng…

Bob đã quyết định lấy vợ, anh nói với mẹ:

– Thưa mẹ, con gặp một cô gái tuyệt vời và muốn thành hôn với cô ấy. Thứ bảy tuần tới, con sẽ dẫn ba cô bạn gái đến nhà, mẹ thử đoán xem cô nào nhé.
– Được rồi.

Ngày thứ bảy vui vẻ, cả ba cô bạn của Bob đều xinh như mộng, thông minh và duyên dáng. Tiệc tàn, các cô gái ra về, Bob hỏi:

– Mẹ đã đoán ra ai là người yêu của con chưa?

– Có phải là cô gái mặc áo xanh không?

– Đúng là cô ấy! Làm sao mà mẹ đoán được?

– Đơn giản vì mẹ đã bắt đầu cảm thấy không ưa cô ta.



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Tổng Hợp Truyện Cười Tình Yêu Ngắn Hay Nhất 2017
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