Truyện Cổ Tích Chế Sọ Dừa

Phần 1: Sọ Dừa Chăn Bò

Ngày xửa ngày xưa, có hai vợ chồng nghèo rất hiền lành. Người chồng tên “Độc”, bà vợ tên “Ác”. Vì muốn trời thương cho một đứa con nên 2 vợ chồng cố gắng làm việc thiện tích đức. Bà vợ thì mở tiệm cầm đồ dành cho người nghèo, còn ông chồng thì mở tiệm vá xe lu miễn phí. Một hôm bà vợ đi kiếm củi trong rừng bị khát nước nhưng không tìm thấy hồ nước đâu. Bụt thấy vậy hoá phép ra cái sọ dừa đựng đầy nước. Bà thấy cái sọ dừa mừng quá bà liền lấy tiền đi mua trà xanh không độ uống. Bà về nhà mang bầu và đẻ ra đứa con không có chân, không có tay, ông chồng thấy vậy liền đặt tên là “Nick Vujicic” (Chà! Đặt tên nổi quá!). Sau đó ông bị sét đánh chết vì dám đặt tên theo người nổi tiếng rồi bụt hiện ra bắt đổi tên lại thành “Sọ Dừa“.

Bà vợ một mình nuôi con quanh năm rất vất vả, mệt nhọc nhưng vẫn không đủ ăn. Không còn cách nào bà phải cầm lòng ra ngân hàng để rút tiền xây biệt thự, xắm ô tô. Do ham sắm đồ quá mà hết tiền mua gạo. Quá tũng quẫn bà đi sang nhà phú ông để xiết nợ. Phú ông không có tiền trả bèn bắt Sọ Dừa con của bà về nhà mình chăn bò để kiếm tiền trả nợ giùm cho mình (Bất công vãi, địa chủ phong kiến mà…).

Ngày đầu tiên chăn bò của Sọ dừa vô cùng khó khăn. Lũ bò ăn cỏ xong không chịu về đòi ngủ qua đêm trên đồng. Nhân lúc lũ bò ngủ say, Sọ Dừa lấy bảo bối của mình là một cây sáo ra để thổi cho bò về thì liền bị bò đá gãy răng vì tội làm ồn. Sọ Dừa không có chân tay chỉ biết lăn lông lốc, đành bất lực không biết làm gì. Ức chế quá bấy giờ Sọ Dừa mới đạp cho con bò đầu đàn một đạp lăn quay ra rồi nhảy vào đè chói lại vác về lũ bò mới ngoan ngoãn đi theo.

truyen-che-so-dua

Phần 2: Ở Hiền Gặp Bọc Tiền, Ở Ác Gặp Các-Mác

Ngày thứ hai Sọ dừa chăn bò cho nhà phú ông, phú ông sai hai đứa con gái lớn đi đưa cho Sọ Dừa lít rượu với đĩa thịt chó. Hai cô chị từ chối và có ý đẩy việc cho cô em út. Cô em út trong phòng nghe thấy hai cô chị dừa việc cho mình liền ngoan ngoãn bước ra ngoài táng hai con chị vêu mỏ vì tội dừa nhau rồi xách giỏ đi đưa cơm cho Sọ Dừa.

Sọ Dừa do chờ lâu nên vừa đói vừa mệt bèn mở lắp chui ra khỏi sọ rồi nằm ngủ. Khi cô út tới nơi thì thấy một chàng trai khôi ngô tuấn tú, cởi trần, mặc quần shịp, đang nằm dạng háng ngủ trưa gáy gỗ giữa cánh đồng làm cô thích mê. Sọ Dừa đang ngủ bỗng mắc tè bật dậy vạch quần ra tè. Đen thế nào lại quay đúng hướng cô út đang rình. Đang tè Sọ Dừa thấy động liền nhảy chui vào cái sọ của mình rồi lo lắng nhìn quay. Bấy giờ cô út từ trong bụi lùm bước ra:

– Thấy hết rồi nha. Haha. Còn bày đặt dấu nữa chứ!

Bấy giờ Sọ Dừa biết mình đã không còn giữ được trinh tiết, tối về ôm gối nằm khóc nức nở. Bà mẹ gặng hỏi thì biết con mình đã để mất đời giai tân, tức tối sang nhà phú ông đòi đi kiện. Phú ông lo lắng xin bà làm đám cưới cho hai đứa nhưng bà mẹ bắt phải sắm đủ món lễ vật. Lễ vật gồm có: Một cái Ai pót (Ipod) 64 nghìn bài hát, một cái Ai pát (Ipad) 64 gi, một cái tivi 64 in, kotex xì tin 64 bịch loại víp, que thử thai Chíp Chíp 64 hộp.

Hai cô chị biết chuyện bèn xin làm đám cưới cùng lúc cho cả ba người nhằm hạ nhục cô em vì Sọ dừa quá xấu xí. Đến ngày cưới của ba cô gái, Sọ dừa bước ra. Chàng Sọ Dừa ngày nào bây giờ đã trở nên cao to phong độ như ca sĩ chạy sô, đẹp trai như lee Min Hô, 2 chú rể của hai cô chị thì như hai con cá khô. Sau khi cưới xong Sọ Dừa xin mẹ lên kinh thành dự thi. Ở nhà hai cô chị ghen tức tìm cách hãm hại cô em. Hai cô chị rủ cô em lên tận đỉnh núi Phan-xi-păng chơi sau đó chuốc thuốc mê cho cô em bất tỉnh rồi cả hai đưa cô em xuống bãi biển Nha Trang để quăng xuống biển cho cá mập ăn thịt. Cô út bị quăng xuống biển lập tức có con cá sấu lao tới nuốt chửng cô. Có con cá mè dinh trông thấy lao vào nuốt chửng cá sấu, cuối cùng cá mè dinh sau đó bị con cá lòng tong nuốt vào trong bụng. Con cá lòng tong bơi tới quần đảo Hoàng Sa liền bị ngư dân bao vây tứ phía rồi dùng bốn chiếc thuyền lớn quăng một mẻ lưới to bắt được đem về giết thịt khao cả làng ăn. Khi mổ bụng cá, dân làng đã cứu được Cô út. Cô út từ đấy làm nghề chăn vịt cho làng để sống qua ngày.

Lại nói về Sọ Dừa khi lên kinh thành làm bài thi rất là nghiêm túc và minh bạch, chỉ mỗi cái là hay nhìn sang bài của người khác rồi cóp nhặt, giám thị bắt được cho ngay cái thước kẻ vào mặt. Bụt thấy Sọ Dừa đã học dốt còn gian lận trong thi cử thì bực lắm. Lo rằng Sọ Dừa không qua nổi kỳ thi nên bụt bèn hiện ra giúp Sọ Dừa giở tài liệu để làm bài mà Sọ Dừa sau này mới đứng đầu trong bảng vàng. Trong triều ai cũng khâm phục. Nhà vua bèn phong Sọ Dừa chức thứ trưởng bộ giáo dục, cục trưởng cục giám thị coi thi, phân ngành phòng chống quay bài và giở tài liệu trong thi cử. Một tháng sau Sọ Dừa đi thuyền qua quần đảo hoàng sa trở về nhà. Con vịt trên đảo thấy thuyền quan trạng liền gáy:

– Cục ta cục tác. Phải thuyền quan trạng đón con hâm này về.

Sọ Dừa ghé thuyền vào đảo thấy vợ liền mừng rỡ đón vợ về. Về đến nơi thì hai cô chị biết chuyện trốn đi mất tiêu. Không để hai cô chị chạy trốn, bụt bèn hiện ra trước mặt hai cô chị rồi dùng phép ứng phó, liền bị tụi nó đập như con chó. Cuối cùng bụt phải tung tuyệt chiêu bóp vếu long chảo thủ mới hạ được hai cô chị.

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Truyện Cổ Tích Chế Sọ Dừa
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