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Vào khoảng thời kỳ Hùng Vương thứ xxx gì đó mà các cụ chúng nó đếk ai nhớ được nữa (chắc vì hồi đó chưa có lịch), phương Bắc đang nằm dưới sự trị vì của nhà Ân. Vua Ân vốn hung bạo thích chiến tranh để chiếm đất đai, của cải, săn lùng gái đẹp để phục vụ trong hoàng cung (hình như thằng nào làm vua cũng máu gái hay sao ý nhờ). Vua cũng nghe giang hồ đồn rằng ở phương Nam có rất nhiều gái đẹp, mà nhất là ở Giao Chỉ thì mê ly luôn. Vua Ân bèn tập trung văn võ bá quan và các cao thủ Trung Nguyên, các cao thủ Đại Nội lại họp bàn cách xâm chiếm nước ta…

Do thường xuyên tiến hành chiến tranh nên Vua Ân cũng có không ít cao thủ võ lâm dưới trướng.

Ở bên này Hùng vương đang nhảy Audition với các văn võ bá wan trong triều thì được mật thám cấp tình hình. Nghe tin Hùng Vương cuống cuồng chân tay liền họp bàn cách đối phó với giặc nhưng chẳng có thằng đếk nào dám đánh (nhảy nhót suốt ngày thì đoánh thế đíu nào được).

Mùa thu năm ấy, nhà Ân xua quân đánh chiếm phương Nam.Vó ngựa nhà Ân đi đến đâu là làng mạc bị thiêu hủy, trai thì bắt làm nô dịch, gái thì bắt làm tù binh rồi phân lọại đẹp xấu mà xuất khẩu đi các nước khác nhau. Em nào sắc nước hương trời thì chuyển phát nhanh về cho vua Ân. Vì vậy vậy tiếng khóc ai oán của lê dân bá tánh nước Việt vang đến tận trời xanh.

Vua Hùng biết sức nước còn yếu khó lòng chống ngoại xâm nên đẩy mạnh đàm phán sáu bên với nhà Ân mà tình hình cũng không thể thay đổi. Trong đội ngũ pá wan có 1 thằng tên là Quan Liêu đưa ra 1 diệu kế là một mặt tổng động viên dân chúng đứng lên, mặt khác cử sứ giả đi đăng tin rao vặt khắp nơi xem có ai đứng ra cứu nước không. Đây quả là 1 rượu kế quá hay, vả lại cũng không thể nghiên cứu ra vũ khí hạt nhân hay vũ khí hủy diệt…. trong một sớm một chiều vua phải nghe theo. Vua Hùng bèn ra lệnh tổng động viên, ai có sức dùng sức, ai có của góp của, ai không có gì thì thôi… Sứ giả của vua ngày đêm rong ruổi đến tận những vùng đồi núi xa xôi để kêu gọi mọi người cùng đứng lên chống ngoại xâm.

truyen-co-tich-thanh-giong-che

Một buổi sáng đẹp trời, sứ giả đến một cái làng nhỏ tên là Phù Đổng. Đã bảy ngày lang thang trên núi, bụng đã đói, chân đã mỏi, sứ giả ghé vào một ngôi nhà ở đầu làng để xin cơm. Nhà không có ai, chỉ có một đứa trẻ khoảng ba tuổi đang chơi game online trong nhà. Đứa trẻ rất lạ,chẳng nói cũng chẳng cười chỉ nhìn vị khách lạ một cái rồi lại xoay ra bắn Gunbound tiếp. Chợt có tiếng chân người mở cửa, sứ giả vội phi thân ra cửa sổ. Một người đàn bà vừa đi vào vừa chửi: 

– Mẹ bố mày Gióng, nói không nói, cười không cười, suốt ngày chỉ biết đến on lai on liếc, chát với chả chít. Giặc sắp đến nhà, liệu vào rừng mà chơi nhá!

Chửi xong, bà ta bỏ ra nhà bếp nấu cơm.

Sứ giả ngay lúc đó, ra quán trà đá đầu làng ngồi uống và bắn vài bi thuốc lào. Khi hết cơn phê thuốc lào rồi sứ giả bèn bắc loa ở đầu làng mà gào:

– Loa loa loa loa… Giặc Ân đang đang xâm chiếm bờ cõi, giết hại dân lành. Ai là người tài mau ra giúp nước. Sống thì làm anh hùng, chết thì làm liệt sỹ… Loa loa loa loa…
Khi nghe thấy tiếng loa, Gióng đang ngồi chơi game đột nhiên ý nghĩ ra tay giúp người yếu thế chống lại sự tàn bạo của nhà Ân lóe lên trong đầu. Gióng bèn vận nội công dùng thiên lý truyền âm phát ra gọi mẹ:

– Mẹ, ra kêu sứ giả vào đây !

Bà mẹ đang nấu cơm nghe câu nói đầu tiên của đứa con mà mất cả hồn, rớt cài nồi đất vỡ tan, nước sôi chảy cả vào chân. Bà nhảy tưng tưng ra ngoài cửa vì chân bị phỏng.

Chạy vội vào nhà bà bèn hỏi:

Gióng, mày…mày… biết nói từ khi nào vậy? Mà sao lại có nội công thâm hậu thế hả? Học lỏm lúc tao đang luyện công phải không hả? (Mẹ của Gióng vốn là một đại cao thủ trong giới võ lâm thời bấy giờ, thành thạo tất cả các tuyệt kỹ của các đại môn phái trên giang hồ, không hiểu sao lại gác kiếm quy ẩn giang hồ. Nghe giang hồ đồn rằng sau một bữa bà đi ngao du sơn thủy trên đỉnh Phan xi phăng về thì có mang và sinh ra Gióng ).

Mà mày nói gì vậy?

Biểu mẹ kêu sứ giả vào đây – Gióng nói.

Mẹ Gióng vừa mừng vừa lo nhưng cũng nghe lời ra gọi sứ giả của nhà vua vào.

Gióng thấy sứ giả bèn nói:

– Sứ giả hãy về bảo vua kiếm cho ta con ngựa Hắc Long Mã, một bộ giáp sắt chống đạn hiện đại nhất và kiếm cho ta thanh Tru Tiên kiếm. Ta sẽ giết giặc cho.

Sứ giả nghe thì lấy làm hồ nghi,nhưng cũng không dám trễ nãi vội vàng chạy ra ngoài móc di động điện gấp cho Vua hùng. Kẹt nỗi, chắc do có nhiều sứ giả gọi để báo cáo tình hình quá hay sao đó hoặc do mạng lởm nên nghẽn mạch liên tục, chẳng thể nào gọi được. Gần cả giờ sau mới gọi được, Vua Hùng nghe kể sự tình cũng cả kinh nhưng cũng ra lệnh cho quan Bật Mã Ôn đưa gấp ngựa và lệnh cho Bộ trưởng bộ quốc phòng chủ trì phối hợp cùng với Tổng công ty thép rèn đúc ngày đêm mới được 1 bộ giáp, nghe đâu kinh phí làm nguyên bộ seri giáp này cũng mất khoảng mấy tỉ lượng bạc trắng.Nhưng còn kiếm Tru Tiên thì biết tìm đâu bây giờ? Hùng vương bèn triệu tập cao thủ đại nội lại hỏi, họ thưa rằng Tru Tiên kiếm hiện do Giáo chủ Ma Giáo nắm giữ, muốn mượn thì phải đích thân Hoàng thượng đến thì mới được. Thế là Hùng vương bèn mang rượu ngon và gái đẹp đến Ma Giáo làm lễ, sau khi say khướt cùng với Giáo chủ Ma Giáo thì cũng mượn được kiếm báu. Hùng vương lấy làm hí hửng lắm.

Với tiến độ cực nhanh nhằm sớm hoàn thành bộ giáp cho Gióng và cũng nhằm lập thành tích chào mừng rằm tháng mười, chỉ trong bảy lần bảy bốn chín ngày đơn đặt hàng của Gióng đã được đáp ứng và được Tổng công ty vận tải thuộc Bộ GTVT vận chuyển đến làng Phù Đổng. Bộ Quốc phòng, Bộ Công nghiệp & Bộ GTVT đều được tưởng thưởng huân chương anh hùng lao động hạng ba vì những đóng góp hết sức quý báu này.

Trong thời gian đó, Gióng vẫn ở nhà với mẹ và dán mắt vào PC chơi game online tối ngày, Gióng bắn Gunbound và chơi VõLâm Truyền Kỳ đã trở thành cao thủ hạng nhất, trên giang hồ không có đối thủ nữa nên cũng chán.

Từ hôm nhận được hàng theo yêu cầu, Gióng tự nhiên ăn rất khỏe để bù lại cả năm vừa chơi game vừa gặm mỳ tôm. Mẹ Gióng thổi cơm không kịp, cả làng phải vào thổi phụ. Lúc ngựa Hắc Long Mã, giáp sắt và Tru Tiên kiếm vừa đem đến, Gióng từ trong nhà vận nội công nổ đùng biến thành 1 chàng to cao, đẹp trai như tài tử Hollywood, rồi dùng thân pháp Phi long xuyên vân – một tuyệt kỹ của Thiếu lâm tự bay lên lưng ngựa, mặc giáp vào, tay cầm Tru Tiên kiếm phi thẳng ra tiền tuyến, để lại hậu phương bao nỗi hoang mang=)).

Lúc này cũng là thời gian ngừng chiến giữa hai bên vì đang diễnra vòng thứ 8 đàm phán sáu bên. Quân Ân sẵn dịp đang nghỉngơi sau những ngày tháng cướp bóc và tàn phố vô độ. Gióng xông thẳng doanh trại quân Ân, Hắc Long Mã như một cỗ chiến xa càn quét quân giặc. Thằng bể đầu vì bị ngựa đạp trúng, thằng thì chết đen thui vì bị Độc Sa chưởng, còn lại đa số bị chém làm 2 đoạn vì Tru Tiên kiếm … Quân Ân bị trọng thương quá nửa. Tru Tiên kiếm đánh một hồi thì bị gãy (chắc vì chất liệu kém chất lượng). Gióng bực mình quá nhưng cũng nhanh trí quơ vội mấy bụi tre làm vũ khí đánh tan tác quân địch.

Vua Ân ở nhà nghe tin tiền phương đại bại vội ra lệnh rút quân. Giặc Ân bỏ chạy như rắn mất đầu. Gióng toàn thắng, phi ngựa quay về làng Phù Đổng chào pà kon rân làng rồi phi thẳng lên núi Sóc Sơn.

Trên đường đi qua Gia Lâm, đếngần đầu cầu Chương Dương lúc đó trời đã tối Gióng gặp 1 em rất xinh đẹp đứng bên đường, kết liền, bèn dừng ngựa hỏi: Xin lỗi, cô nương làm nghề jề vzậy? Sao đêm khuya còn đứng đây vậy?

– Xin lỗi, em chỉ là 1 con đĩ – Cô gái tỉnh bơ đáp.

– Ặc…ặc… thế thì bye bye cô em nhé. Rồi Gióng quất ngựa truy phong, phi thẳng lên đỉnh Sóc Sơn, mất hút luôn từ đó.

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Truyện Cổ Tích ” Thánh Gióng ” Chế Cực Hay
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