Tuyển Tập Những Bài Thơ Chế Bóng Đá Hay

Gửi Vợ Mùa World Cup

Em ơi Uôn Cúp đến rồi
Thật là hào hứng, đứng ngồi nao nao
Nó đá nó sút ào ào
Nhưng ta lại hét lại gào inh tai
Gõ nồi gõ chảo gõ chai
Gõ… thùng mì gói đến hai ba giờ
Bóng đá càng xem càng mê
Dù sáng ra mắt lờ đờ như… đui
Em muốn gia nhập cuộc vui
Thì nghe anh nói để rồi thích ngay
World Cup diễn ra lần này
Ở vùng Nam Mỹ của “thầy” Pele

Brazil đá khỏi chê
Samba vũ điệu đê mê lòng người
Sân nhà giúp đội đủ hơi
Ứng viên sáng giá để “xơi” Cup vàng
Anh chàng hàng xóm vẻ vang
Tiếng tăm lừng lẫy, cũng sang tranh tài
Argentina – ứng cử thứ hai
Của ngôi vô địch kỳ này đó nghe
Hàng công của đội miễn chê
Đối phương nhẹ ký sẽ lê lết bò
“Xe tăng” Đức đã làm cho
Bao đội vất vả, lạnh giò ra sân
Ba lần đoạt giải quán quân
Nghe thôi cũng khiếp quá chừng đi thôi
Mong chờ 18 năm rồi
Ngôi vị thống lĩnh hạ hồi quyết tâm
Đương kim vô địch “võ lâm”
Mùa này đánh giá ít tầm hơn xưa
Nhưng đá cũng chẳng phải vừa
Tây Ban Nha vòng loại chả thua trận nào
Nếu xem thường, dễ nốc – ao
Xavi, Ramos,… vẫy chào, tiễn ngay…

Thấy chưa World Cup lần này
Vô cùng hấp dẫn cho mày râu nha
(Cũng không giới hạn đàn bà
Có thể cổ vũ, dù là… xem chân!)
Anh cũng xin hứa ngàn lần
Giải trí lành mạnh, không mần đỏ đen
Anh đâu có máu bon chen
Cái môn cá độ em yên tâm nào
Những pha gay cấn, cao trào
Nếu anh nhỡ miệng thét gào hơi to
Mong em thông cảm ngáy khò
Để anh em được hét hò thả ga
Hết mùa anh “bù đắp” nha
Bây giờ chuẩn bị cùng ca…
La la la… là là là… !



Bài Thơ Chế Mẹ Dặn Con Mùa World cup

Mẹ lo lắm lắm, con à nghe đây
Ba mẹ lao động chân tay
Còng lưng mỏi gối cả ngày gian lao
Gom được chút ít đồng nào
‘Tiếp tế’ đầy đủ, mong sao con mình
Cố gắng trau dồi sử kinh
Kiến thức sâu rộng quang vinh cả đời

Đời của ba mẹ khổ rồi
Mong muốn con sẽ rạng ngời công danh
Hôm rày vào mùa bóng banh
Thằng Tèo thằng Tí quê mình nè con
Đêm xuống tụ tập rất ồn
Chúng la, chúng hét, chẳng ôn vở bài
Gì mà… hiệp 1 hiệp 2
Phạt đền phạt góc, đánh vai đánh đầu

Mẹ nghe chẳng hiểu vào đâu
Sao nó mê dữ, cứ chầu hàng đêm
Lại còn có đỏ, có đen
Chấp một, chấp nửa, dưới trên bắt kèo
Không biết thắng thua làm sao

Nhưng mẹ nghe nó đi vào nhà trong
Bảo mẹ nó đưa cái vòng
Cho nó ‘mượn đỡ’, bóng xong lại hoàn
Vài bữa cái vòng chả còn
Nó lại bảo bố giúp con phen này

Trận Bồ gặp Đức khá hay
Chắc chắn con sẽ phen này thắng to
Bố yên tâm, con sẽ lo
Đổi chiếc xe xịn đi cho êm đùi
Ai dè chẳng thấy tin vui
Nghe đâu thằng Đức dập vùi thằng kia
Thế là miệng nó lia chia
Chửi thằng Rô khốn vì về phía mi
Chẳng được cái tích sự gì
Giờ chiếc xe đã ra đi không về
Cha mẹ nó khóc tỉ tê
Vì thằng quý tử trót mê bạc bài
Dám xong mùa bóng kỳ này
Ra đường mà ở, ăn mày cho coi…

Mẹ nghe mà ớn lạnh rồi
Con nhớ không được đua đòi nghe chưa
Đừng có mê quá, say sưa
Rồi ‘sút’ theo nó từa lưa mẹ phiền!



Thơ Chế Về Bảng Đấu Tử Thần Worldcup 2014

Hoan hô Costa Rica
Làm cựu vô địch Guay ta “ăn đòn”
Guay cứ ngỡ Costa “ngon”
Ngờ đâu lại bị “nướng giòn” đãi ta

Khởi đầu “muối mặt” một-ba
Cavani với Porlan thẫn thờ
Suarez dự bị “ngẩn ngơ”
Xe bị châu chấu bất ngờ đá bay

Làm thêm khó Uruguay
Gặp Tam sư tới sẽ xoay sở gì?
Tưởng chỉ sau Ý- thứ nhì
Gặp Anh cùng cảnh như mình- tính sao?

Thấy chưa Ai thấp- Ai cao
Uruguay bại trận thấy nao nao lòng
Bảng này Cos- Ý lập công
Vé vào vòng tiếp, kẻ trông, người chờ

Guay-Anh trận đấu mong chờ
Kẻ thua “khăn gói nghỉ chơi “ông” nào?
Guay-Anh toàn những ngôi sao
Ai bị loại sớm hỏi sao không buồn

Ngày đêm mê mải Cúp Woon
Cà phê, thuốc lá, chè ngon sướng đời
Ti vi bên cạnh không rời
Tưởng nằm cạnh cái “nợ đời” mọi khi

Thôi thì cũng chiều tí ti
Quét nhà, rửa chén, cọ ly, lau nồi
Mê World Cup khổ tý thôi
Hết mùa ta lại là ta bình thường.



Thơ chế – Cầu thủ Văn Quyến

Thuở còn thơ ngày hai buổi ra đồng
Yêu quê hương qua trận cầu bóng bưởi
“Ai bảo chăn trâu là khổ”
Quyến mơ màng khi đang bốc phân trâu

Những ngày trốn học
Ấy bậy cạnh cầu ao
Mẹ bắt được…
Chưa đánh roi nào đã khóc!
Có cô bé nhà bên
Nhìn Quyến cười khúc khích…

Sốt bóng đá bùng lên
Rồi Seagames 21 tràn về
Văn Quyến em tôi trở thành tuyển thủ
Từ biệt mẹ, Quyến đi
Cô bé nhà bên (có ai ngờ!)
Lên Hà Nội làm gội đầu thư giãn
Hôm gặp Quyến, nàng vẫn cười khúc khích
Mắt đen tròn (thương thương quá đi thôi!)
Giữa cuộc tuyển quân không nói được một lời
Ðội bóng đi qua, Quyến ngoái đầu nhìn lại
Mưa đầy trời nhưng lòng thì ấm mãi…

Thành vua phá lưới rồi
Văn Quyến trở về đây
Với cánh đồng xưa, bãi mía, luống cày
Lại gặp em xưa
Thẹn thùng nép sau cánh cửa
Nghẹn ngào cười khi Quyến thầm hỏi nhỏ
Chuyện chồng con (đau đớn lắm anh ơi!)
Quyến nắm bàn tay nhỏ nhắn ngậm ngùi
Em để yên tay trong tay nóng bỏng…

Hôm nay tôi nhận được tin em Quyến
Thật không tin được…
Dù đó là sự thật
Họ bắt Quyến rồi, đưa đi trại
Chỉ vì em bán độ, Quyến ơi!
Ðau xé lòng anh, chết nửa con người!

Xưa yêu quê hương vì có chim, có bướm
Ðể cho trâu ăn lúa bị đòn, roi
Nay yêu quê hương trong từng trận cầu nảy lửa
Có một phần máu thịt của em tôi.



Yêu bóng đá không cần phải nói
Nên chẳng run run lúc tỏ tình
Cứ thoải mái, tha hồ hò hét
Cứ tự tin và cứ hết mình

Yêu bóng đá không sợ nghe từ chối
Mà chỉ lo không còn sức để yêu
Yêu bóng đá không cần khư khư giữ
Càng lắm kẻ yêu, càng thấy vui nhiều

Yêu bóng đá không lo ai hờn dỗi
Không phải “trồng si” chẳng phải “làm đuôi”
Càng không phải sớm đưa chiều đón
Nhõng nhẽo, điệu đà ôi! Khổ trăm chiều…

Yêu bóng đá vẫn rất là lãng mạn
Vẫn thơ dài, nhạc ngắn đấy thôi
Thêm những phút vỡ òa – hạnh phúc
Thoáng lo âu và nhiều lắm niềm vui

Bóng đá chẳng bao giờ làm mặt lạnh
Gọi không thưa, hỏi cũng không thưa
Bóng đá dẫu bất ngờ thay đổi
Cũng chẳng bằng em sớm nắng chiều mưa

Bóng đá có những niềm kiêu hãnh
Nhưng chẳng có đâu một phút kiên trì
Bóng đã sẵn sàng yêu tất cả
Những trái tim nào dám biết si.

Yêu bóng đá là tình yêu vĩ đại
Đẹp như mơ và cao thượng như mơ
Hỡi tất cả các chàng trai trên Trái Đất
Yêu bóng đá đi mặc con gái thẫn thờ.



Rất mong tất cả sẽ thành chuyên gia
Match là trận đấu, chẳng ngoa
Ball là trái bóng, line là đường biên

Kick là đá, pass là chuyền
Throw-in có nghĩa ném biên, chuẩn bài!
Nếu mà việt vị off-side
Cờ là flag, trọng tài phất lên
Linesman là bác chạy biên
Referee là bác áo đen cầm còi
Whistle – còi, đã rõ rồi
Bắt đầu trận đấu là hồi giao banh
Giao banh kick-off hoàn thành
Hai bên lập tức vào tranh bóng liền
Phía ngoài là coach – HLV,
Bên trong có chú captain – thủ quân.
Điểm tên vị trí trên sân
Goalie chắc chắn là chân gác đền
Left, right – trái, phải hai bên
(The) back là hàng hậu, bám biên hai người
Trung vệ ở giữa, đúng rồi
Là central back, số người tùy theo
Midfielder, tiền vệ xin nêu
Cũng trái, phải, giữa, có điều đá cao
Vai trò, thiên hướng thế nào
Dùng defensive (hoặc attacking) thêm vào giữa thôi
Striker – tiền đạo, chuẩn rồi
Central forward (CF) là người trung phong

Điểm tên vị trí đã xong
Một vài thuật ngữ nào cùng xem thêm
Goal-kick là phát bóng lên
Penalty-kick – phạt đền, haha!
Free-kick – đá phạt ngoài xa
Còn corner-kick nghĩa là góc thôi
Score là lập công rồi
Volley là cú ngả người sút banh
Handling, bắt bóng thủ thành
Red card – thẻ đỏ mời anh ra ngoài
Double – ghi điểm lần hai
Vậy thì hat-trick, chẳng sai, 3 lần!
Half-time hết hiệp, đổi sân
Full-time là lúc còi ngân hết giờ
Time cùng tiền tố extra
Là hai hiệp phụ nửa giờ thêm nha
A draw là một trận hòa
Own goal là đốt lưới nhà, oh no!
Head-to-head – tức đối đầu
Backheel đánh gót, đánh đầu header
Lost-time là khoảng bù giờ
Cân bằng tỉ số – equalizer
Kẻ thua là những losers
Còn bên thắng trận – winner. Hoặc là:
Hết hai hiệp phụ vẫn hòa
Để phân thắng bại, chuyển qua phạt đền!



 

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