Tuyển Tập Thơ Chế Tình Yêu

Em là nàng tiên của anh
Vậy sao em lại nỡ đành bỏ đi
Vắng em, anh sống làm chi?
Quên ăn quên ngủ, da thì bọc xương

Có em anh ở thiên đường
Mất em địa ngục anh trườn,
anh lăn Em yêu em có biết chăng
Xa em một phút ngỡ bằng thiên thu

Không em, anh hoá … ngu ngu
Vào ra 2 phút lại tru một tràng
Trăng buồn trăng mất ánh vàng
Anh sầu anh gãy khúc đàn phân ly

Không em đời có nghĩa gì
Về đây em hỡi, “mân nì” của anh



Chọn mãi mới được một ngày
Gặp anh để quyết giãi bày yêu thương
Hai đứa ngồi trên bờ mương
Công nông thì chạy trên đường, bụi ghê Cứ thế mà buôn dưa lê

Mãi không đề cập vấn đề trọng tâm
Anh liền nói chuyện lòng vòng
Ðợi em sơ ý là cầm tay luôn..
Ngờ đâu anh chộp đã nhanh

Em rút tay lại còn lành nghề hơn
Mất đà anh lộn xuống mương
Bò lên đã thấy em chuồn từ lâu.
Vừa về anh vừa lầu bầu:
“Biết thế bố bỏ từ lâu cho rồi”.



Khi xưa bé nói yêu anh
Anh chê bé nhỏ bé chẳng biết gì
Bây giờ bé đã dậy thì
Anh khen bé đẹp, bé chê anh già

Con cừu non nhảy ra miệng chén
Tình chúng mình yêu lén mẹ cha
Không ngờ mẹ biết mẹ la
Anh đem sính lễ đến nhà cưới em

Nếu chúa phán yêu nhau là hủy hoại
Thì con tin nhân loại chẳng còn ai
Nếu chúa phán yêu nhau là có tội
Thì con xin chịu tội để được yêu

Nhận được thư em lúc nhá nhem,
Mừng mừng tủi tủi mở ra xem
Trong thư em viết dăm ba chữ:
“Anh ơi ngày mai nó lấy em”.

Trên đời gì rẻ bằng xôi.
Anh đây chẳng tiếc mời em ăn cùng.
Giờ đây em đã ăn rồi.
2 ngàn em nhớ trả giùm cho anh!

Thi đua ta quyết thi đua
Thi đua ta quyết tiến lên hàng đầu
Hàng đầu rồi biết đi đâu?
Đi đâu không biết hàng đầu cứ đi !

Con người càng lúc càng đông.
Thạch Sanh thì ít , Lý thông thì nhiều .
Thân em như giếng giữa đàng.
Người khôn rửa cẳng , người phàm rửa chân!

Râu tôm nấu với ruột bầu.
Chồng chan vợ húp gật đầu khen ngon.
Chỉ tội cho cái thằng con.
Đứng ngoài chầu chực biết ngon là gì.

Chắp tay lạy cụ tình yêu.
Cho con lấy được nàng Kiều ngày nay.
Cụ nhìn trợn mắt cau mày.
Không đưa hối lộ thì đây đếch ừ .

Má ơi đừng gả con xa.
Chim kêu vượn hú biết đâu mà lần.
Má ơi đừng gả con gần.
Con qua xúc gạo nhiều lần má la.

Cá không ăn muối cá ươn.
Chồng cãi lại vợ ra đường bơm xe.
Trên trời có đám mây xanh.
Ở giữa mây trắng xung quanh mây vàng.

Nếu mà anh lấy phải nàng,
Anh thà thắt cổ cho nàng ở không.
Giám thị nhìn em giám thị cười.
Em nhìn giám thị lệ tuôn rơi.

Cổng trường đại học cao vời vợi.
Đồng ruộng mênh mông đón em về.
Này cô con gái nhà ai.
Cớ sao dám hái hoa nhài nhà tôi.

Hái rồi thì hãy …lấy thôi.
Còn chưa hái được để tôi…hái dùm.
Học cho lắm cũng ăn mắm với cà
Học tà tà cũng ăn cà với mắm

Học cho lắm cũng đi tắm cởi truồng
Học luồn xuồn cũng cởi truồn đi tắm
Cam sành lột vỏ còn chua,
Thấy em còn nhỏ anh cua để dành.

Bắt đầu ngủ giữa tiết 3
Ðến khi tỉnh giấc đã là tiết 5
Một buổi chiều gió mát
Vẽ hình em trên cát

Thì bị ăn một tát
Của một con bồ khác
Nãy giờ đang quan sát
Anh còn đang ngơ ngác

Liền ăn thêm một tát
Ôi tình yêu trên cát !!!
Thật là chua và chát .
Học hành như cá kho tiêu

Kho nhiều thì mặn học nhiều thì ngu!
cái giường mà biết nói năng
thì ông hàng xóm hàm răng chẳng còn
con mèo mà trèo cây cau

hỏi thăm chú chuột đi đâu vắng nhà
chú chuột đi chợ đằng xa
em là cô chuột ,vào nhà đi anh
học làm gì cho đầu to mắt trố

về lạy vợ cho dân số tăng nhanh
học,học nữa…hộc máu
nhà trường là nhà tù
sách vở là kẻ thù

thầy cô như sát thủ
thời gian như cao su!
bạn bè như tôm sú
dây tơ hồng …quấn wanh chuồng lợn

Tình chúng mình có tợn wá không anh??
mình vì mọi người.. mọi người coi mình như mọi
Ăn tranh thủ
ngủ khẩn trương

học bình thường
chơi là chính
Ai mua tui bán cây…si,
si tui tốt giông cành chi chít cành,

Hễ si mà gặp Ðất lành
Là si phát triển trở thành ..siđa
Râu tôm nấu với ruột bầu,
Chồng ăn nhổ toẹt lầu bầu chê ngu!

ai vô xứ Nghệ thì dô
còn tui tui cứ thủ đô tui diaz`
quân tử đắn đo là quân tử dại
quân tử ..làm đại là quân tử khôn

thu đi để lại lá vàng
anh đi để lại cho nàng đứa con
anh yêu em tư chân tới cổ
còn cái đầu anh bổ làm đôi

đem vê anh bỏ vô nồi
anh nấu,anh nướng,anh xào,anh xơi!
đi thi để biết phòng thi
vô thi để biết để thi thui mà

khi xưa vác bút theo thầy
bi giờ em lại vác cày theo trâu
Ngày xưa giám thị cũng đi thi
cũng cóp cũng way chẳng kém chi

Mà này giám thị lại trông chặt
chẳng để em xem 1 tí gì
Người ta đi học có đôi
Còn tôi đi học ôi thôi phát sầu

Một mình ngồi ngắm bồ câu
Nó cũng…. hai đứa ..lại càng sầu thêm
Một tay làm chẳng nên non
Bốn tay chụm lại nên sòng tiến lên

Thằng cho vay là thằng dại
Thằng trả lại là thằng ngu!
trên đời gì rẻ bằng xôi
anh đây chẳng tiếc mời em ăn cùng

giờ đây em đã ăn rồi
2 ngàn em nhớ trả giùm cho anh!
Mập thì đẹp
ốm thì dễ thương

lòi xương thì dễ mến
gọt xoài đừng để xoài chua!!
chọn bạn đừng để bạn cua bồ mình
thân em như giếng giữa đàng

người khôn rửa cẳng , người fàm rửa chân!
râu tôm nấu với ruột bầu
chồng chê vợ gõ lên đầu..cái boong
Một đêm tui dzớt mươi nàng

Ðến khi check lại: mấy thằng pê đê
Tình iu như cái bánh tiêu …
Ăn dzô thì muốn thiếu điều ói ra
iu em hỏng dám nói ra

Ðể dành trong bụng cho ra từ từ(ghê thật !! hông dám tưởng tượng)
trên trời mây trắng như bông
ở giữa cánh đồng mông trắng như mây
Mẹ ơi con muốn có chồng

Con ơi…. mẹ cũng một lòng như con
Ước gì tôi hoá con …ki
Nhe nanh xông đến ,em đi đằng trời
Nhưng mà tôi vẫn là người

Nên em chẳng chạy vẫn ngồi ì ra
Râu tôm nấu với ruột bầu
Chồng chan vợ húp gật đầu khen ngon
Chỉ tội cho cái thằng con

Ðứng ngoài chầu chực biết ngon là gì
Khi xưa bé thích lò cò
Ngày nay bé thích hẹn hò cùng anh
Cơn gió nhẹ cũng làm cho lá rụng

Chút hiểu lầm cũng tạo sự chia tay
Tình yêu như một dây đàn
Tình vừa được thì đàn đứt dây
Đứt dây này anh thay dây khác

Mất em rồi anh biết thay ai?
Hôm quan ưống nước tâm tình
Bỏ quên máy ảnh chụp hình quay phim
Em cầm mà em lặng im

Đẻ anh phải chạy đi tìm bở hơi
Tình yêuTrách ông tơ sao quá vô tình
trách bà Nguyệt sao quá tuyệt tình với tôi
Chỉ vì một chữ yêu thôi

Sao ông lại phán tội tôi lưu đầy
Hôm qua , anh đến nhà em
Ra về mối nhớ rằng quên năm ngàn
Thế là anh trở lại tìm

Em còn ngồi đó mà năm ngàn mất tiêu
Năm ngàn em lấy em tiêu
Em mua vé số chờ chiều sổ chơi
Không ngờ trúng thiệt anh ơi

Trúng cà bạc triệu em trỏ anh năm ngàn.
Trên trời cao tôi là vì sao xấu
Dưới trần gian tôi là kẻ không may
Trong cưộc sống tôi là kẻ bất hạnh

Trên đường tình tôi là kẻ cô đơn
Hôm qua ngày 8 tháng 3
Chi em phụ nữ ngênh ra vào
Nam nhi không nói không chào
Đạp cho một cái lộn nhào xuống ao



TRONG TIM EM MỘT NỖI BUỒN

Trong tim em một nỗi buồn nào đấy
Cô đơn đang ngủ bao giờ
Nghe tiếng đập trái tim anh cũng dậy
Để rồi rơi hẫng trong mơ

Một tia sáng trong lòng em đang sống
Mong anh lặng lẽ vô hình
Những bóng tối của buồn đau thất vọng
Không làm nó tắt vì anh

Đôi khi bước qua mồ em hãy nhớ
Thương em chôn dưới đất mềm
Em chỉ sợ một điều em chỉ sợ
Anh đã hoàn toàn quên em

Trước khi chết em xin anh hãy nhớ
Cho em chỉ một lần này
Một giọt lệ lên môi tình đau khổ
Để bù em khóc hôm nay
… Và tất cả đã đổi thay,em bây giờ đã khác
Hát khác xưa rồi và khóc cũng khác xưa
– B. Kornhilop-

Vâng,em đã khác xưa rồi,em đã khác xưa
Ôi,cuộc đời sao trôi nhanh quá vậy
Em đã già đi ,anh không nhận ra được nữa
Hay là anh có nhận ra chăng ?
Em không cầu xin tha thứ ở nơi anh
Cũng chẳng thề nguyền những điều vụng dại
Nhưng em tin ,nếu anh quay trở lại
Nếu anh còn nhận được ra em
Những bực tức nhau sẽ nguôi quên
Ta sẽ ở lại bên nhau sóng bước
Ta sẽ khóc như chưa bao giờ được khóc
Mà chỉ hai ta mới hiểu vì sao



TẠM BIỆT

Bởi vì anh dắt em lên những ngôi đền cổ
chén ngọc giờ chìm dưới đáy sông sâu
Những lăng tẩm như hoàng hôn chống lại ngày quên lãng

Mặt trời vàng và mắt em nâu .

Xin chào Huế một lần anh đến
để ngàn lần anh nhớ trong mơ
Em rất thực nắng thì mờ ảo
Xin đừng lầm em với cố đô

Áo trắng hỡi thuở tìm em không thấy
Nắng minh mang mấy nhịp Tràng Tiền
Nón rất Huế nhưng đời không phải thế
Mặt trời lên từ phía nón em nghiêng

Nhịp cầu cong và con đường thẳng
Một đời anh tìm mãi Huế nơi đâu
Con sông dùng dằng con sông không chảy
Sông chảy vào lòng nên Huế rất sâu

Tạm biệt Huế ,với em là tiễn biệt
Hải Vân ơi xin người đừng tắt ngọn sao khuya
Tạm biệt nhé với chiếc hôn thầm lặng
Anh trở về hoá đá phía bên kia



Nếu như em là sắt
Thì anh là Carbon
Dẫu dài ngắn vuông tròn
Vẫn sắt son trong một

Nếu như em là cột
Anh xin làm căn nhà
Dù bão tố phong ba
Vẫn ôm em, che chở

Nếu như em là phở
Thì anh là nước lèo
Ðời có cuốn vèo vèo
Ta bên nhau em nhỉ

Nếu như em là chỉ
Anh lại biến thành kim
Dù kim có khó tìm
Dù chỉ gầy dễ đứt….

Giả như em có sứt
Thì anh cũng rốn lồi
Lồi rốn với sứt môi
Chúng ta đi cùng lối

Giả như em sợ tối
Anh sẽ là ngọn đèn
Dù dầu đắt xăng lên
Anh vẫn luôn toả sáng…..

Còn nếu em là ván
Anh sẽ xin làm đinh
Ðóng một triệu chuyện tình
Cũng không khi nào hết

Nếu em làm biển biếc
Anh làm sóng bạc đầu
Dù tận dưới lòng sâu
Cũng ngoi lên mặt biển



Anh yêu em không hề gian dối.
Tình yêu chúng mình vô đối phải không em.
Em yêu anh thì anh yêu trở lại.
Có bao giờ ăn lãi của nhau đâu.
Đầu gấu nào chả có lúc xuống giá.
Đại tá nào chả có lúc về hưu.
Nước xuôi dòng ngàn năm chảy mãi.
Cuộc đời này chỉ yêu mãi mình em

Bước đến nhà em, bóng xế tà.
Đứng chờ năm phút bố em ra.
Lơ thơ phía trước vài con chó.
Lác đác đằng sau chiếc chổi chà…

Gà mà không gáy là con gà chiên.
Gà mà hay gáy là con gà điên.
Đi lang thang trong sân , bắt con gà , bỏ vô nồi.
Mua 2 lon Tiger , nhắm chân gà , nhắm chân gà.
Gà mà không gáy là con gà gay.
Gà mà không gáy là con gà toi.
Đi lang thang trong sân, bắt con gà, ướp tiêu hành,
Ăn xong lăn quay ra, chết tui rùi, cúm gia cầm.

Đố ai định nghĩa được từ hôn.
Có khó gì đâu, dạ bồn chồn.
Hai người một góc, đêm tối tối.
Tựa má, kề môi thế là hôn….

Đố ai định nghĩa được nụ hôn.
Có khó gì đâu một tâm hồn.
Hai đứa yêu nhau ngồi xích lại.
Môi kề mắt nhắm thế là hôn



Trái tim em chỉ một lần mở cửa
Đón anh vào rồi khép lại ngàn năm.
Nhưng sao anh cứ hoài lần lữa
Cửa đóng rồi. Em biết làm sao?

Khi cửa mở, em mỏi mòn chờ đợi
Để được gì? Ngoài sự vô tâm !

Em khắc khoải chờ mong người đến
Đón người vào, rồi đóng cửa lại ngay.
Ngày tháng qua, em âm thầm chờ đợi
Nhưng bóng người vẫn cứ mãi biệt tăm.

Em đã đợi, đã chờ anh lâu lắm
Đã ngóng trông, hy vọng, thẫn thờ
Để giờ đây, em không còn tiếc nuối
Tuy con tim chưa thật hẳn quên anh.

Thôi anh nhé, hãy đi tìm cửa khác
Con tim em giá lạnh mất rồi.
Em van anh hãy nhớ điều này:
Đừng để ai phải chờ đợi như em

Nếu có thể, em sẽ vẫn chọn anh
Nhưng lúc ấy, em sẽ không chờ đợi
Vai trò kia, em xin nhường lại
Để anh biết, thế nào là ” Chờ em”

Nếu anh muốn làm người chờ đợi
Nói với em, hay nhắn tin em
Em sẽ lại mở cửa ra và đón
Đón anh vào, chứ không để đợi lâu

Nói vây thôi anh đừng tưởng bở
Dẫu giờ này anh có than thở(Dẫu anh có chờ cũng vô ích)
Bời vì sao?? cũng lỗi tại anh
Anh đừng ngóng đừng chờ anh nhé
Bời vì em đã khoá cửa mất rùi

Thế anh nhé, mình vẫn hướng về nhau
Nhưng em sẽ không làm mình đau khổ
Giờ em sẽ vẫn nghe lời anh nói
Nghe vậy thôi, không nghĩ ngợi lung tung



Nếu biết trước người làm tôi đau khổ.
Tôi xin được làm gỗ đá vô tri.
Không biết khóc,biết buồn hay oán hận.
Để không còn đau nhói ở trog tim.

Bức tường nào ngăn cách giữa hai ta
Chẳng có đâu em, là tại anh hết đó
Để giờ đây chuyện tình tựa là gió
Đã qua rồi chẳng giữ lại được đâu

Để bây giờ mình mãi cách xa nhau
Anh mới nhớ, mới thương và tiếc nuối
Thì thôi đành để một lần sau cuối
Nhớ về người anh ghép chữ thành thơ.

Hãy coi chuyện chúng mình tựa giấc mơ
Hãy mỉm cười khi đã là dĩ vãng
Và hướng về một ngày mai tươi sáng
Chuyện chúng mình đừng vương vấn làm chi.

Giọt lệ nào đọng dưới những hàng mi
Có phải chăng là giọt tình đau khổ
Tình càng sầu, càng mang nhiều trắc trở
Càng trân trọng hạnh phúc phải không em?

Hãy kiên trì, rồi có lúc sẽ quên
Anh nguyện cầu em suốt đời hạnh phúc
Chuyện chúng mình rồi sẽ thành kí ức
Làm một phần cuộc sống của riêng anh.



 

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    Caregivers: Should be 21 years of age or older;
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