Tuyển Tập Truyện Cười Công Sở Hay Nhất 2017 P2


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Cười Thả Phanh – Xin gửi tới bạn đọc đang theo dõi website 1 seri Truyện Cười Công Sở. Toàn những truyện được có thật nhưng viết theo lối hài



Công việc hàng ngày

Kế toán trưởng tỉnh dậy lúc 8h sáng, uống cà phê, hút thuốc và say sưa đọc báo. Một tiếng sau, vợ hỏi:

– Thế anh không đi làm à?

– Ôi thôi chết, vậy mà anh cứ tưởng mình đang ngồi trong văn phòng.



Năng khiếu bán đồ cổ

Một anh chàng vào xin việc tại cửa hàng đồ cổ, hỏi sơ qua về tuổi tác và trình độ xong, ông chủ giơ lên một thanh gỗ mục và hỏi:

– Anh nhìn kỹ đi xem đây là cái gì?

– Tăm xỉa răng của hoàng đế La Mã.

– Tốt! Anh có thể bắt đầu làm việc ngay từ bây giờ.



Làm phúc

Buổi chiều, một triệu phú đang đi trên chiếc limousine thì nhìn thấy một người đàn ông đang ăn cỏ bên vệ đường. Ông dừng lại tìm hiểu:

– Tại sao ông ăn cỏ?

– Tôi không có tiền mua thức ăn.

– Ồ, vậy thì đi với tôi.

– Nhưng thưa ngài, tôi có vợ và sáu con!.

– Hãy mang họ theo!

Khi tất cả leo lên xe, người đàn ông nói: “Thưa ngài, ngài quá tốt bụng”. Triệu phú lời: “Không có chi, cỏ ở nhà tôi cao gần đến ba tấc”.



Hoà cả làng

Ông chủ nói với người giúp việc:

– Này Paul, anh lau lại đôi giày cho tôi rồi chứ?

– Thưa ông, tôi nghĩ rằng có lau lại rồi ông đi cũng bẩn thôi.

– Ông chủ mặc thêm áo khoác, xách vali và bảo Paul: Tôi sẽ đi vắng vài hôm.

– Vậy ông để lại tiền ăn cho tôi chứ ạ?

– Ồ, vẽ sự! Cho dù anh có ăn thì cũng lại đói thôi.



Không nhận quà nữa

Sau cuộc họp cuối năm ở cơ quan về, bước vào phòng khách, thả người xuống bộ sa lông mới tậu, đưa tay đón chén sâm ngào ngạt từ tay phu nhân, sếp nhấp một ngụm rồi quay sang nói với bà xã:

– Bà nó đừng ngạc nhiên khi Tết năm nay không có ai đến biếu tôi bánh, mứt, rượu ngoại nữa nhé! Tết năm nay nhà mình tự mua.

– Phu nhân liền thảng thốt hỏi: Sao thế? Ông sắp về vườn rồi à?

– Còn lâu nhé! Cái ghế của tôi vẫn chắc nguyên. Chẳng qua là sáng nay, tôi đã rỉ tai cấp dưới thế này: “Tết năm nay, tớ không nhận đồ vật linh tinh nữa, các cậu cứ quy hết ra tiền, cho vào phong bì cho tớ”. Bà bảo tôi có thông minh không?



Một ngày đẹp trời nghĩa là gì?

Sherlock Holmes và bác sĩ Watson đi cắm trại. Hai người nằm ngủ cạnh nhau. Gần sáng, Holmes lay bạn dậy và hỏi:

– Watson, nhìn xem, anh thấy cái gì?

– Tôi thấy rất nhiều sao.

– Vậy theo anh, điều này có nghĩa là gì?

– Nghĩa là chúng ta sẽ có một ngày đẹp trời. Còn anh?

– Theo tôi, điều này có nghĩa là ai đó đã đánh cắp cái lều của chúng ta.



Ai cũng nhầm

Viên cảnh sát nhìn ông nha sĩ cầm kìm và chiếc răng hàm của mình, nổi cáu quát:

– Này ông, ông có điên không đấy! Tại sao lại nhổ nhầm vào chiếc răng hàm của tôi?

– Tay nha sĩ tỉnh bơ và nói:

– Thế ông không tóm nhầm ai bao giờ chắc?



Quyết định sớm cho kịp giờ đăng báo

Chàng thanh niên dáng vẻ buồn bã thất vọng, đứng trên thành cầu đăm đăm nhìn xuống dòng nước xoáy cuộn. Sau lưng anh ta, một phóng viên bồn chồn đi lại với chiếc máy ảnh trong tay. Cuối cùng, tay nhà báo sốt ruột xem đồng hồ rồi chạy lên nói với anh chàng chán đời kia:

– Này anh bạn, quyết định rồi thì nhảy sớm đi, chỉ còn có 3 phút nữa thôi đấy!

– Đối với tôi thời gian đâu có ý nghĩa gì?

– Nhưng chậm hơn thì anh sẽ không kịp lọt vào báo Tin tức buổi chiều đâu!



Kiểu đầu khó lặp lại

Khách ngồi vào ghế, thợ cắt tóc đến bên hỏi:

– Ông muốn cắt kiểu gì ạ?

– Trái cao, phải thấp, giữa bằng, đỉnh đầu lởm chởm. Đặc biệt, cắt sát da đầu vài chỗ như những đồng xu!

– Thưa ông, tôi không thể cắt như ông tả được.

– Tại sao không!? Lần trước anh đã cắt cho tôi như vậy đấy!



Lẹ lên..

Một tiểu thuyết gia viết truyện mỗi ngày cho một nhật báo nọ, cuối ngày nói với ông chủ nhiệm:

– Có lẽ tôi phải sửa lại đoạn văn này một chút…

Ông chủ nhiệm:

– Anh có muốn sửa chữa, thêm thắt gì thì lè lẹ lên, xe đổ rác sắp sửa đi qua đấy.



Biết trước rồi

Tại cửa hàng thịt, anh chàng kính cận nói:

– Cân cho tôi 1,05 kg thịt đùi.

– Sao không mua gọn một cân? – Người bán hàng thắc mắc.

– Để tôi về còn dễ ăn dễ nói với bà xã, nếu bà ấy cân lại còn bà thì cân thiếu.



Họa sĩ nghèo

Trên đường đi học về, bé Mi thấy một họa sĩ đang vẽ phong cảnh.

– Bé Mi: Tội nghiệp chú quá.

– Họa sĩ: Sao vậy?

– Bé Mi: Tại chú không có tiền mua máy ảnh nên phải ngồi vẽ , tội quá!

– Họa sĩ: ??!!



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Tuyển Tập Truyện Cười Công Sở Hay Nhất 2017 P2
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