Truyện Cười Về Văn Hóa Công Sở Hay Nhất Việt Nam


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Cười Thả Phanh – Xin gửi tới bạn đọc đang theo dõi website 1 seri Truyện Cười Về Văn Hóa Công Sở. Toàn những truyện được có thật nhưng viết theo lối hài



Vẫn có cách

Tham quan di tích chiến trường xưa, một ông Tây to béo e dè nhìn xuống hố bom:

– Nếu tôi sa xuống đây, liệu cô có kéo được tôi lên không?

– Cô hướng dẫn viên nhỏ nhắn đáp: Ngài cứ yên tâm, dẫu là con bò rơi xuống, tôi cũng có cách đưa lên.

– Bằng cách nào?

– Phân nhỏ nó ra.



Sai lầm nghiêm trọng..

Hai thầy thuốc lâu năm hàn huyên trong giờ giải lao bên lề hội nghị khoa học:

– Lần đầu tiên trong đời tôi đã phạm sai lầm nghiệp vụ nghiêm trọng. – Một người thổ lộ với giọng chán chường.

– Thì cứ bình tâm kể lại vụ việc xem sao! – Người đồng nghiệp động viên.

– Tôi chữa khỏi cho một bệnh nhân chỉ sau một lần khám duy nhất, mà đâu biết ông ta là triệu phú.



Hãy để sếp lên tiếng trước

Giám đốc cùng trưởng phòng kế hoạch và trưởng phòng kinh doanh đi ăn trưa. Trên đường họ bắt được một cây đèn thần, khi chạm vào nó, một vị thần hiện ra và bảo:

– Ta sẽ ban cho mỗi người một điều ước, các ngươi muốn gì nào?

– Tôi ước mình đang ở trên du thuyền tại Bahamas – Bà trưởng phòng kinh doanh kêu lên.

– Phù… bà ta biến mất…

– Quá phấn khởi, ông trưởng phòng kế hoạch hét lên: Tôi ước gì mình đang tắm nắng và được ngắm các em xinh đẹp tại bãi biển Hawaii…

– Phù… ông ta biến đi trong nháy mắt.

– Vị thần nhìn ông giám đốc: Đến lượt ngươi, ước gì đi chứ!

– Tôi muốn hai người kia trở lại ngay sau bữa trưa để làm việc – Ông ta dõng dạc ra lệnh.

– Bài học rút ra: Hãy luôn để sếp của bạn lên tiếng trước.



Tài nếm rượu

Một tay đệ tử Lưu Linh đứng tựa vào quầy quán bar, khoe khoang có khả năng phân biệt bất kỳ loại rượu nào khi bị bịt mắt.

Nhiều người trong quán cá cược là anh ta sẽ không làm được điều đó.

Anh hầu bàn đưa ra từng loại rượu và lần nào anh ta cũng đoán trúng.

Tức mình, anh bồi mang ra một cốc nước lã. Tay thử rượu uống một ngụm và nhổ toẹt ngay ra, thú nhận:

– Không biết là cái thứ đồ uống quái quỷ gì, nhưng tôi đoán chắc một điểm: sẽ không bán được.



Đam mê toán học

Mắm vào một tiệm tóc.

– Mắm: Chú ơi! Cắt tóc dùm cháu!

– Chủ tiệm: Cháu muốn cắt tóc kiểu gì?

– Mắm: Dạ! Tóc so le ạ!

– Chủ tiệm: So le trong hay so le ngoài hả cháu?



Mua thuốc bắc..

Ba đứa trẻ vào một tiệm thuốc bắc 1 lượt. Ðứa thứ 1 mua 500 đồng cam thảo. Ông thầy thuốc bắc thang leo lên ì ạch bưng cái thấu ở tuốt trên kệ cao xuống. Bán xong, ông leo lên cất cái thấu trở lại chỗ cũ. Sau khi tính tiền, ông hỏi đứa thứ 2 mua cái gì:

– Dạ con mua 500 đồng cam thảo. Ông thầy bực mình, ì ạch leo lên lấy thấu cam thảo xuống. Sợ như lần trước, ông hỏi luôn đứa thứ 3:

– Còn mày mua 500 đồng cam thảo luôn hả? Thằng nhỏ lắc đầu. Ông thầy yên chí, leo lên cất cái thấu cam thảo lên kệ rồi hỏi nó mua gì. Thằng bé nói: Dạ ông bán cho con 1000 đồng cam thảo.



Rủi ro càng lớn càng hấp dẫn

Một đại lý bảo hiểm đang sôi nổi thuyết phục khách hàng:

– Thưa ngài, nếu bị mất ngón tay cái, ngài sẽ được đền bù 10% số tiền bảo hiểm, tức là khoảng 100 triệu. Còn nếu mất đi một cánh tay, ngài sẽ được hưởng ngay 500 triệu…

– Mức đền bù cao nhất là bao nhiêu?

– Vâng, nếu ngài bị gãy xương sống thì tuyệt! Khi đó, ngài sẽ giàu to.



Ai sẽ được thầu?

Ba nhà thầu tham dự đấu thầu sửa lại hàng rào Nhà Trắng. Người đến từ Florida sau khi đo đạc, tính toán cẩn thận nói:

– Tôi cần 900 đôla, 400 mua vật liệu, 400 trả công thợ, 100 cho tôi.

– Người từ Texas sau khi đo đạc cũng nói luôn: 650 đôla, 600 cho vật liệu và nhân công, 50 cho tôi.

– Người New York chỉ đứng hút xì gà, buông thõng: 2.650 đôla!

– Sao đắt thế! Thậm chí anh chưa đo đạc gì cả. Người giao thầu kêu lên.

– Bé mồm thôi! Tôi 1.000, anh 1.000, còn 650 mướn gã Texas làm trọn gói.



Google làm SEO quá kém!

Một ngày đẹp trời tại một công ty lớn, một nhân viên nhận được một bức email như sau:

– “Dear google.com, I visited your website and noticed that you are not listed in most of the major search engines and directories…”

– Dịch: “Google.com thân mến, tôi đã ghé thăm trang web của bạn và nhận thấy nó không xuất hiện trên các công cụ tìm kiếm…”

– Kết luận: công ty Google không biết làm SEO (Search Engine Optimization, tối ưu hóa bộ máy tìm kiếm)

– Chú thích: Google là công cụ tìm kiếm lớn nhất thế giới!



Mất bình tĩnh

Một gã nọ đến ngân hàng đổi tiền. Nhân viên ngân hàng thận trọng xem kỹ tờ ngân phiếu và hỏi:

– Người ký tên ở đây có vẻ không bình tĩnh lắm?

– Tôi biết. Thằng cha giám đốc này có tật hễ bị ai chĩa súng vào ngực là lại run bắn lên!



Không khí trong lành.

Khách du lịch hỏi chủ một nhà trọ trong làng:

– Này ông chủ, không khí ở đây thế nào?

Có tốt không vậy?

– Về việc này thì ông khỏi chê, tốt đến nỗi mà chúng tôi đã phải đầu độc mãi một cụ già nhất làng mới có dịp khai trương nghĩa địa đấy.



Hiểu sếp..

Nhân viên tới gặp sếp, gãi đầu gãi tai:

– Thưa sếp, ngày mai nhà em tổng vệ sinh. Em được vợ giao nhiệm vụ dọn dẹp toàn bộ nhà cửa, bếp núc, giặt rèm cửa, lau chùi cửa chính, cửa sổ, dọn vườn…

– Nhưng ngày mai công ty cũng có rất nhiều việc, tôi không thể cho anh nghỉ việc được!

– Cảm ơn sếp. Em biết sếp lúc nào cũng có quyết định sáng suốt!



 

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Truyện Cười Về Văn Hóa Công Sở Hay Nhất Việt Nam
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