Tuyển Tập Truyện Cười Văn Phòng Công Sở Hay Nhất

Cười Thả Phanh – Xin gửi tới bạn đọc đang theo dõi website 1 seri Truyện Cười Văn Phòng Công Sở. Toàn những truyện được có thật nhưng viết theo lối hài



Những việc tốt đẹp

Trong buổi dạ hội, người đàn ông lịch sự nói với một cô gái đang cười toe toét:

– Thấy cô cười, tôi muốn làm những việc tốt đẹp cho cô.

– Cô gái reo lên: Ôi, ông thật đáng yêu, bất cứ việc gì ư?

– Ồ không, chỉ trong lĩnh vực răng miệng thôi, vì tôi là nha sĩ.



Bắt khách phải đúng

Thấy cô nhân viên đang gân cổ lên tranh cãi với khách hàng, sếp rất bực, gọi lại bảo:

– Tôi đã nhiều lần lưu ý cô là khách hàng luôn luôn đúng. Tại sao cô lại làm căng với ông ta như thế?

– Nhưng thưa sếp, ông khách này lại cứ khăng khăng rằng ông ta đã sai lầm ạ!



Không cần nhanh như vậy

Biển quảng cáo của một hãng xe hơi, gắn trên xa lộ:

– Xe hơi của chúng tôi tăng tốc cực nhanh, vận tốc cực lớn!

– Hôm sau, bên cạnh đó xuất hiện quảng cáo của hãng đối thủ: Còn xe của chúng tôi thì không vội vàng đưa các khách hàng của mình lên thiên đường như vậy!



Chắc chắn sai

Một người bị quấn băng từ đầu đến chân, nằm trong bệnh viện, bên cạnh là đủ thứ máy theo dõi. Tuy còn rất yếu, nhưng anh ta vẫn cố gắng viết một lá thư như sau: “Kính gửi nhà xuất bản XYZ, trong quyển sách Tự học nhảy dù do nhà xuất bản ấn hành, trang thứ 13 dòng thứ 3 từ trên xuống, chắc chắn có chỗ in sai”.



Những khách hàng đặc biệt

Hai con khỉ đi vào một quán bar và gọi hai cốc bia. Nhân viên phục vụ chưa bao giờ bán bia cho khỉ nên anh ta rất ngạc nhiên chạy lên lầu hỏi ý kiến ông chủ:

– Thưa ông! Có hai con khỉ ở dưới nhà đang gọi bia! Tôi phải làm gì bây giờ?

– Thì cứ phục vụ chúng nó đi, đồ ngu. Ồ, nhưng chờ đã nào. Chúng nó chắc không biết gì đâu, hãy tính giá gấp đôi nhé!

– Anh phục vụ chạy xuống lại và mang hai cốc bia cho những con khỉ và tính tiến gấp đôi. Tối hôm đó, hai con khỉ lại tới uống bia, thấy vậy, anh phục vụ nói: Ở nhà hàng chúng tôi có ít khỉ lui tới lắm…

– Con khỉ trả lời: Với cái giá cắt cổ như thế thì điều đó có gì là lạ đâu!!!



Cai nghiện thành công…

Hai người bạn lâu ngày gặp lại, rủ nhau làm ly cà phê để trò chuyện. Như mọi lần, một anh gọi: “Cho 2 ly cà phê đá và nửa gói thuốc lá!”.

– Sao mày kêu thuốc nhiều thế?

– Tao với mày nửa gói ăn thua gì.

– À, tao quên nói với mày dạo này tao bỏ hút thuốc rồi.

– Thế à, sao mày lại bỏ thế?

– Tại đang mệt nên không hút.

– Thế mày bỏ được bao lâu rồi?

– Chắc cũng phải đến năm rưỡi.

– Lâu thế cơ à, tao nhớ lần trước đi nhậu mày vẫn hút phì phèo mà.

– Hôm đó buổi tối mà, tao bỏ thuốc đến năm rưỡi, 6 giờ tao hút lại mà.

– !!!!!



Đòi hỏi

Một phụ nữ trách người đi ăn xin:

– Trông anh cũng khoẻ mạnh bình thường như bao người khác. Đi xin như vậy mà không ngượng à?

– Thế thì ý bà muốn tôi phải què chân, cụt tay, đui mù, sứt mẻ chứ gì? Cho được bao nhiêu mà đòi hỏi nhiều thế?



Gia phả

Gia đình Smith rất tự hào về truyền thống của gia đình họ. Tổ tiên của họ đã đến Mỹ từ rất lâu rồi. Gia đình họ từ đời này sang đời khác gồm nhiều Thượng nghị sĩ nổi tiếng và các nhà kinh doanh tài ba.

Vì thế họ quyết định làm một cuốn gia phả để lại cho con cháu đời sau. Họ mướn một tác giả nổi tiếng. Nhưng lại có vấn đề nảy sinh đó là trong dòng họ duy nhất có chú George, người đã bị kết án tử hình trên ghế điện.

Ông tác giả nối rằng ông ta có thể giải quyết êm thắm vấn đề này.

Khi cuốn sách được làm xong. Ở một đoạn trong đó có ghi: “Chú George đã giữ một ghế quan trọng hoạt động bằng điện trong một cơ quan chính phủ, nó gắn với ông bởi một mối liên kết chắc chắn và cái chết của ông đến như một cú sốc mạnh.”!!!



Nỗi lo nặng kí

Một thanh niên tìm đến địa chỉ rao vặt “Cơ hội nghìn năm có một”, được diện kiến một nhân vật đầy ưu tư. Người ấy giải thích:

– Công việc của anh sẽ là gánh vác mọi lo toan của tôi.

– Việc này không dễ! Ông sẽ trả tôi bao nhiêu?

– 20.000 USD để làm mọi nỗi lo của tôi thành nỗi lo của chính anh.

– Tôi sẽ bắt đầu lo cho ông việc gì?

– Kiếm 40.000 USD!



Quảng cáo hiệu quả

Mục kết bạn trên báo nọ đăng:

– “A.A, nữ 22 tuổi, người mẫu kiêm diễn viên, tài sản 50 triệu đôla, chưa hề lập gia đình, cần tìm một người chồng như nhân vật chính X trong tiểu thuyết Y của nhà văn Z”.

– Ngày hôm sau, nửa triệu bản cuốn tiểu thuyết đó được bán hết veo.



Ai hư

Thủ trưởng bảo tài xế:

– Cậu liệt kê các phụ tùng ở trong xe bị hư khoảng năm triệu, đưa tôi ký, rồi qua thủ quỹ lãnh tiền nghe chưa?

– Thưa thủ trưởng, xe mình đâu có hư?

– Nếu xe không hư, thì cậu hư rồi đó hiểu chưa?



Lấy ở đâu ra nhiều thế?

Trong buổi thi tốt nghiệp trường hàng hải, giáo sư hỏi thi một thí sinh:

– Nếu cơn bão đến từ phía bên phải con tàu thì anh sẽ làm gì?

– Từ phía mũi tàu?

– Tôi sẽ thả neo.

– Từ phía đuôi tàu?

– Tôi thả neo thứ hai.

– Tôi thả cái neo nữa.

– Giáo sư nói: Anh lấy ở đâu ra nhiều neo thế?

– Thế thầy lấy ở đâu ra mà nhiều bão như vậy?



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