Tuyển Tập Truyện Cười Về Công Sở Hay Nhất Thế Giới


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Cười Thả Phanh – Xin gửi tới bạn đọc đang theo dõi website 1 seri Truyện Cười Về Công Sở. Toàn những truyện được có thật nhưng viết theo lối hài



Gia phả

Gia đình Smith rất tự hào về truyền thống của gia đình họ. Tổ tiên của họ đã đến Mỹ từ rất lâu rồi. Gia đình họ từ đời này sang đời khác gồm nhiều Thượng nghị sĩ nổi tiếng và các nhà kinh doanh tài ba.

Vì thế họ quyết định làm một cuốn gia phả để lại cho con cháu đời sau. Họ mướn một tác giả nổi tiếng. Nhưng lại có vấn đề nảy sinh đó là trong dòng họ duy nhất có chú George, người đã bị kết án tử hình trên ghế điện.

Ông tác giả nối rằng ông ta có thể giải quyết êm thắm vấn đề này.

Khi cuốn sách được làm xong. Ở một đoạn trong đó có ghi: “Chú George đã giữ một ghế quan trọng hoạt động bằng điện trong một cơ quan chính phủ, nó gắn với ông bởi một mối liên kết chắc chắn và cái chết của ông đến như một cú sốc mạnh.”!!!



Nỗi lo nặng kí

Một thanh niên tìm đến địa chỉ rao vặt “Cơ hội nghìn năm có một”, được diện kiến một nhân vật đầy ưu tư. Người ấy giải thích:

– Công việc của anh sẽ là gánh vác mọi lo toan của tôi.

– Việc này không dễ! Ông sẽ trả tôi bao nhiêu?

– 20.000 USD để làm mọi nỗi lo của tôi thành nỗi lo của chính anh.

– Tôi sẽ bắt đầu lo cho ông việc gì?

– Kiếm 40.000 USD!



Quảng cáo hiệu quả

Mục kết bạn trên báo nọ đăng:

– “A.A, nữ 22 tuổi, người mẫu kiêm diễn viên, tài sản 50 triệu đôla, chưa hề lập gia đình, cần tìm một người chồng như nhân vật chính X trong tiểu thuyết Y của nhà văn Z”.

– Ngày hôm sau, nửa triệu bản cuốn tiểu thuyết đó được bán hết veo.



Ai hư

Thủ trưởng bảo tài xế:

– Cậu liệt kê các phụ tùng ở trong xe bị hư khoảng năm triệu, đưa tôi ký, rồi qua thủ quỹ lãnh tiền nghe chưa?
– Thưa thủ trưởng, xe mình đâu có hư?
– Nếu xe không hư, thì cậu hư rồi đó hiểu chưa?



Lấy ở đâu ra nhiều thế?

Trong buổi thi tốt nghiệp trường hàng hải, giáo sư hỏi thi một thí sinh:

– Nếu cơn bão đến từ phía bên phải con tàu thì anh sẽ làm gì?

– Từ phía mũi tàu?

– Tôi sẽ thả neo.

– Từ phía đuôi tàu?

– Tôi thả neo thứ hai.

– Tôi thả cái neo nữa.

– Giáo sư nói: Anh lấy ở đâu ra nhiều neo thế?

– Thế thầy lấy ở đâu ra mà nhiều bão như vậy?



Thủ môn xuất sắc…

Vợ một cầu thủ nổi tiếng mới sinh. Trong buổi lễ rữa tội toàn đội bóng và họ hàng, người thân đều có mặt rất đông. Cha đạo không hiểu vì hấp tấp thế nào để đứa trẻ tuột khỏi tay. Thủ môn đội bóng theo phản xạ bay xoài người đỡ được đứa bé cách mặt đất chỉ còn trong gang tấc. Tất cả mọi người chuyển từ bàng hoàng sang vui mừng, vỗ tay nhiệt liệt. Thủ môn khoái chí giơ cao một tay, rồi đập quả bóng… à quên đứa trẻ xuống đất hai lần và lấy đà sút mạnh lên phía trước !!!



Chỉ đủ tiền ngủ trên mây

Một du khách vào khách sạn hỏi giá tiền thuê phòng. Ông quản lý mở sổ nói:

– Giá thuê phòng phụ thuộc vào từng tầng: Phòng tầng I giá 4.000 USD, tầng II 3.900 USD, tầng III 3.800 USD…

– Xin ông nói luôn giá phòng ở tầng cao nhất.

– Thưa ông, khách sạn này chỉ có 5 tầng thôi ạ!

– Ông khách liền ngả mũ chào tạm biệt và nói: Ồ! Rất tiếc, tôi chỉ quen ngủ ở tầng thứ 40 thôi!



Dịch chuyện vui Mỹ sang tiếng Nhật

Nhà văn Mỹ đến nói chuyện tại một trường đại học ở Nhật, thông qua người phiên dịch. Ông kể liền mạch một câu chuyện vui khá dài rồi dừng lại để anh thông ngôn làm việc. Diễn giả rất ngạc nhiên trước việc anh ta chỉ nói có vài câu mà tất cả sinh viên đều cười ồ lên. Lúc kết thúc bài nói, nhà văn cảm ơn anh chàng kia vì đã dịch rất giỏi. Ông hỏi:

– Làm thế nào mà chỉ vài lời thôi anh đã chuyển cả một chuyện cười dài như vậy sang tiếng Nhật?

– Tôi không thuật lại câu chuyện mà chỉ nói với họ là ngài vừa kể một câu chuyện cười, đề nghị cả hội trường cười to lên.



Nhanh trí

Một người đàn ông bước vào siêu thị khăng khăng đòi mua ngọn của cây rau diếp. Chú bé bán hàng nói rằng phải đi hỏi ý kiến của viên quản lý. Chú ta bước vào phòng phía sau và nói:

– Có một thằng ngu ngoài kia đòi mua một nửa cây rau diếp…

– Vừa mới nói tới đó, chú chợt phát hiện ra người đàn ông đã đi theo và đang đứng ngay phía sau lưng, nên nói tiếp luôn:…Và quý ông đây muốn mua nửa còn lại.

Viên quản lý đồng ý bán và người đàn ông đi khỏi. Sau đó, viên quản lý gọi chú bé lại và nói:

– Nhanh trí đấy! Mày làm tao có ấn tượng tốt, thế mày từ đâu đến đây?

– Từ Canada, thưa ngài!

– Tại sao mày lại rời bỏ Canada?

– Ở đó chỉ toàn là bọn du thủ du thực và dân chơi hockey thôi ạ!

– Vậy à? Vợ của tao cũng là người Canada đó.

– Ông không đùa đấy chứ? Vậy bà nhà chơi cho đội hockey nào ạ?



Bộ râu đem lại niềm tin

Sắp phải trải qua một ca phẫu thuật khá nặng nên lúc bước lên bàn mổ, bệnh nhân rất lo lắng. Khi tiến hành gây mê, bác sĩ trấn an anh ta:

– Anh đừng lo, tất cả rồi sẽ ổn thôi. Anh có nhìn thấy bộ râu của tôi không? Khi thức dậy, anh sẽ thấy tôi vẫn ở bên anh với bộ râu này.

– Bệnh nhân bắt đầu ngấm thuốc mê, bộ râu của bác sĩ nhoè dần và đi vào giấc ngủ. Khi mơ màng tỉnh lại, quả nhiên hình ảnh đầu tiên con bệnh cảm nhận được vẫn là bộ râu. Nhớ đến điều bác sĩ đã nói, anh run rẩy quờ lấy bàn tay ông ta:

– Ôi! Ông bác sĩ có chòm râu phúc hậu, cảm ơn ông đã đem lại niềm tin cho tôi.

– Thôi nào, con hãy bình tĩnh, mọi chuyện đã qua rồi. Ta là Thánh Pierre!



Bưu cục thó mất rồi

Ở bưu cục nọ, có một lá thư đề người nhận là Thượng đế, Thiên đường. Dĩ nhiên là không thể gửi nó đi, họ bèn mở ra xem, thư viết:

– “Gửi Thượng đế! Tôi là một bà lão tội nghiệp 80 tuổi. Suốt cả đời, tôi chẳng đòi hỏi gì. Nhưng hiện nay tôi đang rất cần 100 đôla. Xin Người hãy rủ lòng thương mà ban số tiền đó cho kẻ già này”.

– Cả bưu cục mủi lòng, mỗi người quyên góp một ít tiền, được 90 đôla gửi cho bà cụ. Hôm sau, bà lão gửi thư khác, cũng cho Thượng đế. Lần này ông giám đốc gọi tất cả nhân viên tới để nghe đọc lời cảm ơn:

– “Thưa Thượng đế, tôi xin cảm ơn Ngài với tấm lòng sâu sắc. Nhưng tôi chỉ nhận được có 90 đôla, còn 10 đôla đã bị bọn bưu cục “thó” mất rồi!”.



Chức cao

Hai người bạn thân lâu ngày mới gặp nhau. Sau một hồi hàn huyên ôn lại chuyện xưa, họ chuyển sang đề tài công việc. Một người hỏi.

– Này, cậu nhận công việc mới thế nào?

– Cũng bình thường thôi, nhưng 70 người làm việc dưới chân tớ.

– Chúc mừng cậu! Câu được lên chức rồi à? Quản đốc hay phó quản đốc thế?

– Đâu có! Vẫn chân trắng thôi, nhưng hiện giờ tớ làm việc trên tầng 3.



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Tuyển Tập Truyện Cười Về Công Sở Hay Nhất Thế Giới
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